Learning is a lifelong experience. The problem is, sometimes what we’ve been taught through past relationships was painful. Sometimes we’ve even put up walls in our hearts so that we won’t be hurt again. However, time doesn’t heal wounds; new experiences do. The place to have new experiences is in a group where you feel safe.
That’s the first benefit to processing in a group; a place to practice in safety. Everyone signs a commitment to confidentiality. We also take into account the past and don’t try to fix it. God will do the fixing, pulling out the lies and replacing them with truth. The people in the group are to listen and ask good questions. Each person’s answers to why they are stuck are inside of them. The beauty of waiting on God is that He is so gentle, He’s not going to overwhelm us, and as trust grows for Him and each other, the healing that can happen is a beautiful thing.
The second benefit is learning from each other. I believe that God hand-crafts every group; He places people exactly where they need to be. When others are speaking, it will be each participant's job to listen and look for opportunities to ask questions for understanding. As our understanding grows of where this person is in their process, many times God gives us nuggets of truth for our own healing. It’s a win-win.
Accountability is the third benefit of group learning. Every week each member will be paired up with a teammate. This may be one of the participants or one of the leaders. My job is to teach each person how to hold each other accountable in taking risks so that we all move forward instead of being stalled out in the past. This is not a complaining session of all the hurts we have ever experienced. It’s a chance to encourage each other and grow compassion in our hearts for our fellow sister. When we remember that the same experience of suffering is required of all our family of believers, it makes it easier to stand firm against the devil. (1 Peter 5:7)
Fourth, a group setting gives everyone an example of what their friendships and groups should look like. When we have the desire to be mature and look inside our own hearts, a lot of feelings will surface. We should be able to feel our feelings and let them flow without trying to squash or hide them. When we are open and honest with ourselves and each other, we give each other the opportunity to be built up and feel heard. There have been times in the past where our feelings and hurts were run over by others. In order to heal from these experiences, we have to have new, different experiences with safe people. Once we start feeling like we’re heard and safe, others are drawn to that safety. I would love for each person in every group to be able to go forward and establish their own friend groups, where they feel loved and accepted.
Last, but not least, it’s more fun to learn in a group! We laugh together, cry together, learn about God together, and start to move toward healing from past trauma and hurts. Watching others learn the truth of how God feels about them is so powerful! It inspires us to continue in the learning process!
We’re never going to be perfect here, but we don’t have to be! It’s God’s righteousness that we wear when we’re clothed in Christ. As we connect with each other, it gets easier to put our armor on every day. We’re also able to remind each other to stand firm and never give up!
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