As I have been wrestling with the feelings of loss, grief and guilt over this move away from friends and my sister, the Lord reminded me that He knows how I feel.
He came to earth to feel how I feel. He moved several times, as a child, then never had a permanent home as an adult. He felt manipulated, too, even by his mother, over making water into wine. He knew the sorrow of leaving behind friends and family as He stepped into what His Heavenly Father wanted Him to do.
Jesus reminded me this morning that this is the first move that I've made as a Christian, following Him. I am so sure of the direction that there was no thought of disobedience.
So yes, the feelings are still there. They feel heavy, like the cat, laying on my chest. But God is turning my mourning into dancing as I thank Him for His love, truth and guidance.
God can handle my grief. He wept, too. He just doesn't want me slumped over, dragging it along like a suitcase with broken wheels, tripping up the people around me
He came to give me peace. As I open my hands and let go of the hurts, joy bubbles up in the midst of this season of celebration, even though I am in a totally different space. His peace can overflow in my heart: I just have to let it.
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